King of the Spiders

Interesting visitor to our cottage the other night. It was dark and we'd just arrived home, switched on the lights and started making a cup of tea when I happened to turn around and spot sat on the wall above our fireplace quite simply the largest spider I have ever seen living wild in any part of the good old British Isles. It was obviously a member of the harmless house spider clan but an individual of the most incredible hulk proportions that I stood open-mouthed for a minute or two marvelling at it's legs and mandibles. Unfortunately my better half is terrified of spiders so with the help of a large mug and a postcard I scooped the chap up before she had a chance to see it and moved to deposit it out-of-doors. However it was such a large spider that the mug could barely contain all of it's mighty arachnid power and I am sorry to say I accidently severed one of it's eight legs in the ensuing struggle. I finally released it in the lane outside and I'm sure I heard it mutter "I'll be back" before vanishing into the darkness...